My name is Peaches Kyshawna Francis and this is my story.......
"TO SCARED TO TELL THE TRUTH"
CHAPTER ONE (1)
It was a quiet morning on the Island of St. Croix I remember
hearing the birds chirping outside and my kitten Krissy purred to me as
she slept peacefully on my stomach. I was 9 years old not able to sleep because
of the nightmares I've been having. I even wet the bed sometimes because I was
too scared to go use the bathroom in the middle of the night. A smile came upon
my face as I heard my mother call out my name "Peeeaachees" she would
yell in this strong island accent.
It was time to get ready for school, my school uniform was a
yellow blouse and a blue dress, with black shoes and white socks with
ruffles (I loved those shoes). I put my uniform on, fed Krissy and headed out
the door with my mother. We lived in an apartment owned by the housing
authority (the projects), they were painted light green. I stepped off the
porch and walked down the ramp with my mother, kissed her said I love you and
walked down the street to school (my school was literally down the street from
our apartment, she could stand at the end of the ramp and see the school). My
time in school was always fun, I loved going to school, doing my work and
seeing my friends. I was on the honor roll multiple times, and won other
rewarding certificates.
I walked home from school with the next-door neighbor almost
every day, she was very funny. I got home and did my homework, fed Krissy and
then asked to go outside and play. Living on an island is an amazing thing as a
child, I had so much fun running around with friends, seeing goats and petting
pigs (I miss it dearly). Back at home getting ready for dinner was not as
pleasant as the rest of my day, as I was sitting in my room playing, my older
brother (he was the second oldest of my brothers but the fifth oldest out of my
mother's children) called me into his room, when I walked in he was in a towel
and asked me to reach something for him out of his closet, and as I was bent
over in his closet he quickly walked up behind me and started to touch me
inappropriately, as a child I didn't know what to do or think I was frozen,
shocked with disbelief. I got up and gestured to walk out of the bedroom, he
gave me a hug and leaned me down on to the bed, he climbed on top of me with
nothing but a towel on while I was fully clothed, got between my legs and
proceeded to grind on me (at that very moment I felt nothing but betrayal and
hatred) I was so terrified I just started crying, I knew it wasn't right. He
got up and walked to the bathroom and I went to bedroom and laid on my bed
crying the entire night.
A couple days later, I still didn't tell my mom or anyone
else anything. My mom and sister were in the living room watching TV and my mom
asked me to do the dishes, As I was in the kitchen doing the dishes my brother
walked up behind me and started rubbing his penis on my butt, I pushed him away
and told him to stop, he stepped closer to me and I yelled for my mom. She
walked into the kitchen and asked what's wrong I froze and just simply said
" can you tell him to stop messing with me". I love my mother so much
and even as a child I never wanted to see her cry, sad or basically be anything
other than happy.
A couple weeks later I went to my older sister’s house to
play with my niece's, I loved hanging out with them, me and my sister’s oldest
daughter were the same age so it was like having another sister closer to my
age and I loved it. We did everything together and always wanted to dress
alike. We were born the same year and month, I was born November 18th, 1993 and
she was born November 19th, 1993(lol crazy right). As I was playing at my
sister's house my brother stopped by and did the same thing to me again and
once again I told no one. I still don't know exactly why I kept my mouth shut,
every time I would cry and someone would ask what's wrong, I would just make
something up because I was too afraid and embarrassed to say anything.
"THE UNEXPECTED MOVE"
CHAPTER TWO (2)
"THE UNEXPECTED MOVE"
CHAPTER TWO (2)
About two years later we (me, my mom, and my sister who was
the second youngest) we moved from the beautiful Virgin Islands to Orlando,
Florida at this point my family was already scattered all over, the oldest of
my mom's kids were in jobcorp centers and me and my sister (the two youngest)
stayed with my mom. In Orlando, we lived with one of my niece's dad for two
years while my mom looked for a job and saved up money for us to get our own
place. Being in an entirely new atmosphere felt nice, everything was different,
bigger, cheaper (per my mom).
As time went by, my mom found an apartment for us to live
in. It was in the projects in the city of New Smyrna Beach, it was a four
bedroom and spacious enough for us. One of my older sisters and her boyfriend
helped us get the place all we had to do was paint it so we did. When we first
moved here I liked the area, for some reason kind of reminded me of home. The
park was down the street right by our mailbox, so I was happy that it was close
by.
A few weeks later I started school and began to get a bit
more comfortable with the move. School was a bit tough with the older kids, I
was always getting picked on about my accent or my size, even my hair. I never
understood why the other kids had so much hatred towards me without even
knowing me. I was in the fifth grade at Chisholm Elementary School. One day
during lunch I went to the bathroom and some other girls that didn't like me
were there and they basically bullied me and taunted me into fighting another
girl, and that was officially my first fight.
That same day I walked home from school crying and my sister
met me half way, she saw that I was crying and immediately got upset. I told
her what was wrong and she walked back to the other girls with me and let them
have it with a few words and we went home. After that my anger continued to
build up, there was so much going on with me and my emotions as I tried my
hardest to forget what my brother did to me.
During the summer, I met two girls named Trisha and Bria; cousins.
I became friends with them and I felt like I finally made some new friends, I
was wrong. As the days went by Trisha and Bria started spreading some nasty
rumors about me. They talked about my hair, the way I dressed and even went as
far as calling me stink and picking on my accent. I was so furious when I found
out I was determined to confront the situation in such an angry way. about two
days after I found out what they were saying, I was walking with my niece who
was about five at the time and I was twelve.
"MY FIRST FIGHT"
CHAPTER THREE (3)
"MY FIRST FIGHT"
CHAPTER THREE (3)
We were walking to go get some ice pops from a lady that
sold them down the street. On the walk back home, I saw both Trisha and Bria at
the park near my house and I had to stop and say something to them, I was done
being bullied. I walked up to them and asked "what did you say about
me" while looking at Bria. Bria started to laugh and so did Trisha at this
point I became furious and just started hitting her. My ice pop flew out my
hand at Trisha as I started hitting Bria, at this point it was a full-blown
fight. Trisha saw that her cousin was losing and jumped in so I politely beat
her ass to.
Bria's mom came outside and broke up the fight, she pulled
me off Bria and was ready to fight me as well. I walked home furious and
in tears because I was ashamed of how I just acted. My two sisters Lia and Toya were at the house, I told them what happened. Lia being the oldest of us
three was very upset at what happened especially a grown woman trying to jump
in the fight. She walked down there and got in an argument with Bria's mom. The
lady quickly apologized, I guess the look on my sisters face really intimidated
her. A couple days later the rumors and bullying kind of stopped for a little
while but then started right back up again.
About a year and a half or so later I was in middle
school, now in the 7th grade I was 13 going on 14 and had a bit more confidence
in myself. I became friends with a girl named Tiliah who was also kind
of an outcast. We didn't like one another at first but we gradually became best
friends. Me and Tiliah had a lot in common, we loved to sing, dance, go to the
youth center and even walk around. She was basically the sister I never had, it
felt like I known her my whole life. We still had out little petty arguments
like girls do but at the end of the day if I needed her or she needed me we
always had each other’s back and I was just so happy that I had someone I could
get along with.
We had sleepovers, because she lived right across from us,
we even went to the movies together. By the time my 14th birthday came around I
was very close to Tiliah, we hung out literally every day for hours it was crazy.
At 14 years, old I was kind of coming in to my own, I wasn't as shy to speak my
mind as I once was. A couple days before my birthday Tiliah and I were walking
around like we usually did and we walked pass a house on spruce street. There
were two guys out there who we thought were so cute so, we walked pass that
house almost every day (it was so funny I used to get so excited and we both
could not stop laughing every time they said a simple hello).
At some point, we found out more about them, they were
brothers and about 7 years older than us. I was talking to the older one his
name was Jerome and Tiliah was speaking with his little brother Jacob. This was
my first interaction with the opposite sex and I was happy about it. As the
days went by I continued to speak with him on the phone and in my head, we were
getting closer. One night as my mom was asleep, he stopped by my bedroom window
to tell me goodnight, that was when we had our first kiss. He said that he
loved talking to me and that I was more mature for my age than he thought. I
invited him in (through my window of course), I was so nervous. He stepped
closer to me, put his hand on my cheek, looked me in my eyes and said
"I love you". I was so stunned and didn't know what to do or say.
"MY PRECIOUS GEM"
CHAPTER FOUR (4)
"MY PRECIOUS GEM"
CHAPTER FOUR (4)
I tried to look away but he kept his hand firm on my cheek
and said it again, this time a little closer "I love you" I said I
love you too and we kissed passionately. I felt chills all over my body and my
knees became week, he put his hands around my waist and held me tight. He
looked at me and smiled as we laid on the bed. As he was kissing me and taking
my clothes off I kind of drifted off for a moment. I asked myself should I be
doing this over and over, it felt so wrong but also right at the same time. As
he entered me I felt a sense of pain and pleasure, a tear rolled down my cheek
and he kissed me again and whispered "your mines forever".
The next morning I woke up took a shower and constantly
thought about what happened the night before. I was filled with all sorts of
emotions, I was happy, sad, worried, scared and more confused than I've ever
been. I could not believe that I had just lost my virginity. I checked my phone
and saw that I had eight missed calls from him, it was only 10a.m. I called him
back to see if everything was ok and he was a little upset that I didn't answer
his calls, I was shocked by the aggression in his voice and asked him to please
calm down. He asked me not to tell anyone about us because of our age
difference and I agreed.
A couple days later it was about 8p.m. and I got up the
courage to tell my mom that I lost my virginity. She was so heart broken and
disappointed in me all I could do was cry and so did she. The same night I also
finally told her what my brother did to me as a child and I felt like it made
me curious when it came to the opposite sex. This brought even more tears and
heart break. I love my mother more than anyone could ever imagine and I never
want to see her like that again. Telling my mom what happened didn't make it
easier at all because I didn't get the response I was hoping for. She was sad
when I told her but then it seems as if she got over it, no one said anything
to him about it and to this day they still speak with him.
The next day I spoke with my friend Tiliah about the situation
and of course she had my back one hundred percent like always. New Smyrna was
such a small city and word started to travel that I was dating someone but no
one knew who at this point. A week later Tiliah's family found out that her and
Jacob was seeing each other and she basically threw me under the bus and told
about me and Jerome. My mom found out and called the cops because he was 21 and
I was only 14. I was so upset that she called them, she didn't understand how I
felt about him and I honestly don't think she wanted to. When the cops came, I
didn't want to speak with them at all, they had three pamphlets laid out on our
kitchen table about rape. When I saw that, I was furious and I told
them that it wasn't rape, I told them that I told Jerome I was 17 and
because I looked a little older he believed it.
The female officer pulled me aside and we spoke privately
before she left, she gave me the pamphlets and told me to keep them. The next
morning I didn't feel like getting out of bed, so I just laid there looking at
the ceiling. A couple weeks later I found out that Jerome got arrested but I
was not aware of what he was charged with. I was devastated by the news and
immediately broke down in tears. I got online searched his name on the jail
website and got his booking info. I wrote a letter letting him know that no
matter how long it took I would be waiting on him to get out and that I loved
him deeply. I didn't want my mom to know that I was writing him so I went to
Tia's house and got a stamp and envelope from her and sent the letter off. Two
weeks went by and I didn't receive anything back so I wrote and sent another
letter, still nothing. About a month went by and I started hearing rumors that
I was the reason he went to jail. The fact that he hadn't responded to my
letters made me believe what everyone was saying. Using my mom's phone I called
the jail and asked about his charges and I found out he was arrested for
battery and kidnapping. I was a little relieved but still sad and confused
about his charges. Two months went by and 6 letters later I still didn't hear
back from Jerome.
"THE STRANGER AND HIS HIDDEN AGENDA"
CHAPTER FIVE (5)
"THE STRANGER AND HIS HIDDEN AGENDA"
CHAPTER FIVE (5)
A couple of weeks later I started to get into the social media world, I had a Myspace, Facebook, urban chat, and black planet. I met a lot of nice people online as well as some crazy and mean ones. By the time, I was sixteen years old, you literally could not tell me I wasn't it (lol). I was very stubborn and didn't want to listen to my mom or anyone else for that matter. I met a guy on urban chat who claimed he was 18 years old and living with his parents. I spoke to him every single day and formed a friendship with this person.
He told me that he just got is license and he wanted to come see me for the first time and I agreed. The next day I was with my older sister in Orlando having a great time with family and friends. I spoke with him briefly and he tried to come see me while I was in Orlando and he got kind of upset when I told him no. We made plans to meet up two days later, I was happy but little did I know he wasn't who I thought he was. The day finally came for us to meet and I was ready for it, I wore this semi tight black and gold dress with my black sandals.
It was February 15th 2010, a day after my mom’s birthday. I called him up to give him the address to my house and he replied "I'm already here" and hung up the phone. At the time, I was so happy that I didn't think anything of it, I walked outside and saw this nice black car parked at the curb with tints so I couldn't see the driver. He texted me and said that was him in the car, I was nervous and happy. As I opened the car door I took one look at my house and smiled. I got into the car sat down shut the door and when I looked to my left I immediately felt sick to my stomach.
"NO MEANS NO"
CHAPTER SIX (6)
It was February 15th 2010, a day after my mom’s birthday. I called him up to give him the address to my house and he replied "I'm already here" and hung up the phone. At the time, I was so happy that I didn't think anything of it, I walked outside and saw this nice black car parked at the curb with tints so I couldn't see the driver. He texted me and said that was him in the car, I was nervous and happy. As I opened the car door I took one look at my house and smiled. I got into the car sat down shut the door and when I looked to my left I immediately felt sick to my stomach.
"NO MEANS NO"
CHAPTER SIX (6)
I was looking at someone I have never seen before and he was just sitting there smiling at me. When I tried to open the door, it wouldn't budge, although it was unlocked I just couldn't get the door to open. He immediately started driving away without a word. I said "um hey can we go back to my house for a second I forgot something" and he replied "no I'm not going back there and neither are you". I started sweating and I felt so sick to my stomach this man was trying to kidnap me was one of the thoughts going through my head. I remembered that I had my cell phone and I texted one of my friends and let him know what was going on but he thought I was joking. A few minutes later he tried to call and when I answered the phone was constantly breaking up. At this point I didn't know what to do, when I started crying and yelling for him to take me home he started driving crazily and running red lights. We were on SR44 headed toward 95, he turned off on an exit for Samsula and parked near some bushes. I tried to open the door again and it would not budge. He took a knife from under his seat and told me to give him my cell phone and when I refused he got closer and pressed the knife against my neck and whispered "I'm not going to tell you again". I gave him my phone and he turned it off and place it under his seat, I was so numb to what was going on. When he put the phone down he got close to me this time with the knife pressing on my stomach and said "don't move or it will be the last move you ever make".
He started licking and kissing on my neck and then grabbed my face really hard and pulled my dress up. I pushed his hand off me and hit him in the face. When he stopped, and got off me I thought it was over and I tried to get out the car again, this time screaming for him to open the door and banging on the window. There were no cars driving by at all and I was terrified. With my back facing him he grabbed me by my hair and started punching me in the face and stomach. He picked the knife up again pulled up my dress and cut my panties off. He started hitting me some more and told me that was my last warning and if I wanted to live I wouldn't move again. Crying uncontrollably, I tried to sit as still as I could with my eyes closed. He put one hand over my mouth and reached across me to let my seat back all the way. He pulled my dress up all the way over my breast, pulled my bra down and began to suck on my breast. I elbowed him in his eye and tried to grab the knife and he punched me in my face.
That time I was a little dazed and couldn't really move as much, he was a big guy. With my seat already laid back he pushed my things apart and proceeded to give me oral sex. I felt so nasty and ugly and all I could think about was how I should've listened to my mom. I thought about everything. I felt his body climbing on top of mine and at that moment I decided that I wasn't going to make it easy for him whether he killed me or not. I punched, slapped, scratched and even bit him but nothing worked he was already inside of me. I blacked out and it's like I had an out of body experience because I was watching this man abuse me and I couldn't do anything to stop it.
When he was finished, I just fixed my clothes and tried to get out of the car again. He still wouldn't let me, he started to drive off at a fast speed and I didn't know what would happen next. We were back on SR44, he turned into a biker shop rolled my window down and three my phone out the car. Then he got out of the car walked over to my door and opened it, I immediately ran out of the car crying picked up my phone and ran into the motorcycle store yelling for someone to help me. A woman walked up to me and asked what was wrong, I told her I was just beat up and raped and I needed to call the cops but my phone was broken. I couldn't stop crying I was so disgusted by what just happened to me. You would not know the hurt, the disgust and the humiliation I felt when that woman turned around to everyone in the store and said "everything is fine everyone, this woman just said that some guy just beat her up and raped her". She said it so nonchalant I was very shocked, and she asked me to step outside of the store because the customers were feeling uncomfortable. NO ONE offered to call the police or an ambulance, NO ONE asked me if I needed anything basically.
I started crying even more and walked outside, sat on the ground and tried to get my phone to work. I finally got my phone on and the first person I called was my mom. I was crying and scared and all I could say over and over was that he raped me. My mom told me to calm down hang up the phone and call 911 so that's what I did. When the cops arrived and asked me if I was able to walk, I couldn't. The ambulance came as the officer was questioning me about what happened. I was put into the ambulance and on the ride to the hospital everything started to sink in and I was just dazed.
"LOST AND FILLED WITH ANGER"
CHAPTER SEVEN (7)
When I arrived at the hospital I was very quiet but emotional. I didn't want to talk but I couldn't stop crying. I was sad, mad and confused, I couldn't understand why that had to happen to me. What did I do so wrong for this to happen, why didn't God love or protect me from this man. So many different things raced through my mind and at this moment was when I first realized that I no longer wanted to live. I was in so much pain, my face was hurting and my rib cage was bruised. The doctor told me after the rape kit they would let me know if I needed to get stitches or not. They ran all sorts of tests due to the fact that he didn't wear a condom and my mom was right by my side the whole way.
After the hospital my sister drove me and my mom to meet with a detective and a counselor for rape victims. I still didn't want to speak to anyone I just felt like my soul left my body. Everytime I tried to calm myself down it didn't work because every single time I closed my eyes I could smell him and see his face. I just wanted to go home and be alone in my room. The counselor made it a little easier to talk about, she didn't badge me with questions she just listened. I explained everything to her from beginning to end including meeting him online.
The ride home was silent as well, I just wanted to sleep but I couldn't close my eyes. My mom and sister tried there best to cheer me up. We stopped at Mc Donald's for food and then went home. I took my food into the bedroom and shut the door. As I sat on the bed I saw the pamphlets the officer left at my house when my mom found out I was with an older guy. The blue one read "NO MEANS NO" in bold white letters, the red one said "It is NOT your fault" in black letters and the white pamphlet read "Talk About It" also in black letters. I threw the pamphlets to the floor laid on my bed and cried uncontrollably. I didn't go to sleep until 3a.m and then woke up at 7 a.m.
When I woke up the next morning my body was in so much pain. It felt like I had a terrible nightmare but I knew it was real. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling still wondering why this happened to me. The first thing I did when I woke up was take a very long hot shower, no matter how long I showered or how hard I scrubbed my body, I still felt nasty. I still smelled his scent and it felt like his hands were still touching me, I turned the shower off and just began to cry. Why me God, why me.
The detectives found a counselor for me to start speaking with so I decided to give it a shot. The visits were scheduled for her to come to our home because I didn't want to leave the house. When she arrived, she seemed to be a sweet lady, and was much older than I expected. My mom and I invited her in and she spoke with us both briefly and let us know what her intentions were. My mom left the room and it was just me and her, she brought along board games and more pamphlets. As she was setting the board games up I was just thinking to myself "how in the hell is a game going to help me with how I'm feeling". I literally wanted to die and here she was in front of me smiling and rolling dice, "what a waste" I thought. We started playing the game and as we were playing I loosened up a bit and we started talking about St. Croix and my dad. I told her how much I missed him and my little sister, I missed going to cookouts with him and celebrating life with his side of the family. I loved and missed my dad.
After about three more sessions with the counselor I decided that I no longer wanted to speak with her. Although my mom advised against it, I promised her we could find another therapist for me to speak with and she agreed. On February 26th 2010, the same detective that has been handling the case came to show me some mugshots of suspects they had in mind. Going through the pictures I was told to circle and initial the man who raped me if he was on the list. Skimming the pictures, I saw his face and my body went numb it's like I was having an out-of-body experience. I immediately started crying, my hand got sweaty and my mom told me to calm down and it would be ok, her voice always made me feel a little better. I circled and initialed his picture as I was told and handed the folder back to the detective. I wanted to know who he was and how did they find him so fast or knew where to look.
Two days later we were called down to the police station for an additional interview. My mom and I entered a medium sized room that had a couch and TV, waiting for the detective so many thoughts ran through my mind. He entered the room asked me how I was feeling and began to let me and my mom know everything that was going on. The investigators found his picture rather quickly because, while I was in the car with him he ran a red light twice, he was also a registered sex offender who currently had sexual assault charges against him. The officers questioned him about my situation and he told them that he thought I was older and that it was for money. This sick bastard and sorry excuse for a man told them that I was a prostitute. The cops already knew from the messages that was exchanged between us, that he was posing to be someone he wasn't. When I asked him about how would he have known where I lived without me telling him and I was told that because he knew my full name he looked my name up on a website called "spokeo", it gives you the address and phone numbers for anyone your looking for.
"MY JUSTICE, HIS CONFESSION"
CHAPTER EIGHT (8)
On March 15th, my mom received a letter stating that I may possibly have to go to court and take the stand, if the suspect does not confess/agree to plea deal. The next day a woman from the Rape Crisis Center called to let me know that it would be a good idea to write a letter to the judge on the case, that also the suspect would hear. For the next week or so I thought about it long and hard and there was so much that I wanted to say. I spoke with the detective and let him know my decision, he agreed that it would be a good idea but he also gave me great news. I was told that I would no longer need to testify because the suspect had a wife and three kids (a girl and two boys), and he was also being charged for molesting his three year old daughter. When he said that my heart ached, how could someone do such a disgusting thing to a child or anyone else for that matter. I was more determined than ever to write a letter to the judge expressing my feelings through this situation. The court date was set for March 26th and although I did not have to attend, I was still nervous.
Two days before the court date I began to write my letter, I cleared my mind took a deep breath and began writing....
To whom it may concern,
"My name is Peaches Francis I'm 15 years old and I have been going through
hell these past couple of weeks. The way this sick minded individual mad me feel so dirty, embarrassed, ashamed and hurt has had me contemplating suicide. I write this to you as a broken young woman and I don't ever know if I will be whole again. This monster turned me into someone I no longer recognize. I'm afraid to leave the house for any reason at all, I cant even walk down my street to check the mailbox without having anxiety. No one will never know how I feel unless they've been through what I have, and I pray to God that no one ever does. He deserves to rot in a prison cell for what he did to not only me and the other teens but for what he did to his daughter. A three year old little baby girl is now traumatized by what this man did to her. But not just any man, her dad, someone that was supposed to protect her caused her so much pain. I feel sorry for his wife who now has to explain to her three children what happened. I wish I would have never read his message or agreed to meet up with him. I blame myself because my mom taught me better than that, but I ignored her and did what I wanted to do. I cant put into words the amount of pain this monster caused me. Through out this letter I refuse to consider him a man or even a human being, he is a monster and I pray and hope that the system gives justice to all of his victims."
When I finished, I sealed the letter in an envelope with my name printed on the front and took it to the NSB police department. After I wrote the letter I felt a weight lifted off me now all I had to do was wait for his sentence. The day before the trial at 2p.m a detective called my mom and asked to speak with me. I took the phone said hello and listened to what I was being told, "I called to inform you that the suspect has accepted a plea deal for 15 years in prison so there wont be a trial" he said. I was at a lost for words this was something that I did not expect to hear at all, I wanted to know what made him change his mind but I decided to just let it be the end of this whole ordeal.
"GOOD-BYE, FOR NOW""LOST AND FILLED WITH ANGER"
CHAPTER SEVEN (7)
When I arrived at the hospital I was very quiet but emotional. I didn't want to talk but I couldn't stop crying. I was sad, mad and confused, I couldn't understand why that had to happen to me. What did I do so wrong for this to happen, why didn't God love or protect me from this man. So many different things raced through my mind and at this moment was when I first realized that I no longer wanted to live. I was in so much pain, my face was hurting and my rib cage was bruised. The doctor told me after the rape kit they would let me know if I needed to get stitches or not. They ran all sorts of tests due to the fact that he didn't wear a condom and my mom was right by my side the whole way.
After the hospital my sister drove me and my mom to meet with a detective and a counselor for rape victims. I still didn't want to speak to anyone I just felt like my soul left my body. Everytime I tried to calm myself down it didn't work because every single time I closed my eyes I could smell him and see his face. I just wanted to go home and be alone in my room. The counselor made it a little easier to talk about, she didn't badge me with questions she just listened. I explained everything to her from beginning to end including meeting him online.
The ride home was silent as well, I just wanted to sleep but I couldn't close my eyes. My mom and sister tried there best to cheer me up. We stopped at Mc Donald's for food and then went home. I took my food into the bedroom and shut the door. As I sat on the bed I saw the pamphlets the officer left at my house when my mom found out I was with an older guy. The blue one read "NO MEANS NO" in bold white letters, the red one said "It is NOT your fault" in black letters and the white pamphlet read "Talk About It" also in black letters. I threw the pamphlets to the floor laid on my bed and cried uncontrollably. I didn't go to sleep until 3a.m and then woke up at 7 a.m.
When I woke up the next morning my body was in so much pain. It felt like I had a terrible nightmare but I knew it was real. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling still wondering why this happened to me. The first thing I did when I woke up was take a very long hot shower, no matter how long I showered or how hard I scrubbed my body, I still felt nasty. I still smelled his scent and it felt like his hands were still touching me, I turned the shower off and just began to cry. Why me God, why me.
The detectives found a counselor for me to start speaking with so I decided to give it a shot. The visits were scheduled for her to come to our home because I didn't want to leave the house. When she arrived, she seemed to be a sweet lady, and was much older than I expected. My mom and I invited her in and she spoke with us both briefly and let us know what her intentions were. My mom left the room and it was just me and her, she brought along board games and more pamphlets. As she was setting the board games up I was just thinking to myself "how in the hell is a game going to help me with how I'm feeling". I literally wanted to die and here she was in front of me smiling and rolling dice, "what a waste" I thought. We started playing the game and as we were playing I loosened up a bit and we started talking about St. Croix and my dad. I told her how much I missed him and my little sister, I missed going to cookouts with him and celebrating life with his side of the family. I loved and missed my dad.
After about three more sessions with the counselor I decided that I no longer wanted to speak with her. Although my mom advised against it, I promised her we could find another therapist for me to speak with and she agreed. On February 26th 2010, the same detective that has been handling the case came to show me some mugshots of suspects they had in mind. Going through the pictures I was told to circle and initial the man who raped me if he was on the list. Skimming the pictures, I saw his face and my body went numb it's like I was having an out-of-body experience. I immediately started crying, my hand got sweaty and my mom told me to calm down and it would be ok, her voice always made me feel a little better. I circled and initialed his picture as I was told and handed the folder back to the detective. I wanted to know who he was and how did they find him so fast or knew where to look.
Two days later we were called down to the police station for an additional interview. My mom and I entered a medium sized room that had a couch and TV, waiting for the detective so many thoughts ran through my mind. He entered the room asked me how I was feeling and began to let me and my mom know everything that was going on. The investigators found his picture rather quickly because, while I was in the car with him he ran a red light twice, he was also a registered sex offender who currently had sexual assault charges against him. The officers questioned him about my situation and he told them that he thought I was older and that it was for money. This sick bastard and sorry excuse for a man told them that I was a prostitute. The cops already knew from the messages that was exchanged between us, that he was posing to be someone he wasn't. When I asked him about how would he have known where I lived without me telling him and I was told that because he knew my full name he looked my name up on a website called "spokeo", it gives you the address and phone numbers for anyone your looking for.
"MY JUSTICE, HIS CONFESSION"
CHAPTER EIGHT (8)
On March 15th, my mom received a letter stating that I may possibly have to go to court and take the stand, if the suspect does not confess/agree to plea deal. The next day a woman from the Rape Crisis Center called to let me know that it would be a good idea to write a letter to the judge on the case, that also the suspect would hear. For the next week or so I thought about it long and hard and there was so much that I wanted to say. I spoke with the detective and let him know my decision, he agreed that it would be a good idea but he also gave me great news. I was told that I would no longer need to testify because the suspect had a wife and three kids (a girl and two boys), and he was also being charged for molesting his three year old daughter. When he said that my heart ached, how could someone do such a disgusting thing to a child or anyone else for that matter. I was more determined than ever to write a letter to the judge expressing my feelings through this situation. The court date was set for March 26th and although I did not have to attend, I was still nervous.
Two days before the court date I began to write my letter, I cleared my mind took a deep breath and began writing....
To whom it may concern,
"My name is Peaches Francis I'm 15 years old and I have been going through
hell these past couple of weeks. The way this sick minded individual mad me feel so dirty, embarrassed, ashamed and hurt has had me contemplating suicide. I write this to you as a broken young woman and I don't ever know if I will be whole again. This monster turned me into someone I no longer recognize. I'm afraid to leave the house for any reason at all, I cant even walk down my street to check the mailbox without having anxiety. No one will never know how I feel unless they've been through what I have, and I pray to God that no one ever does. He deserves to rot in a prison cell for what he did to not only me and the other teens but for what he did to his daughter. A three year old little baby girl is now traumatized by what this man did to her. But not just any man, her dad, someone that was supposed to protect her caused her so much pain. I feel sorry for his wife who now has to explain to her three children what happened. I wish I would have never read his message or agreed to meet up with him. I blame myself because my mom taught me better than that, but I ignored her and did what I wanted to do. I cant put into words the amount of pain this monster caused me. Through out this letter I refuse to consider him a man or even a human being, he is a monster and I pray and hope that the system gives justice to all of his victims."
When I finished, I sealed the letter in an envelope with my name printed on the front and took it to the NSB police department. After I wrote the letter I felt a weight lifted off me now all I had to do was wait for his sentence. The day before the trial at 2p.m a detective called my mom and asked to speak with me. I took the phone said hello and listened to what I was being told, "I called to inform you that the suspect has accepted a plea deal for 15 years in prison so there wont be a trial" he said. I was at a lost for words this was something that I did not expect to hear at all, I wanted to know what made him change his mind but I decided to just let it be the end of this whole ordeal.
CHAPTER NINE (9)
About two months
before my sixteenth birthday, I was leaving one of my friend’s house it was 9p.m
and my curfew was 9:30 so I had plenty of time to get home. As I walked out her
house and down the street I saw someone walking in my direction, not knowing
who it was I kept my head down and continued walking. As we walked pass one
another I heard a familiar voice say "Is that Peaches". I turned
around and there he was. The man that I was madly in love with, the man that made
me weak whenever I saw him was here.
Jerome was standing right in front of me, wearing blue jean
shorts a white tank top and a black jacket, I remember it like it was
yesterday. I immediately started crying as we walked towards one another, I
gave him the biggest hug and he held me so tight. I looked at him smiled and we
hugged some more. The fact that he was standing right in front of me was so
surreal to me, so many things were going through my head and I had so many
questions. Instead of going home I turned and walked in the opposite direction
with him towards the park. We sat and talked for what felt like forever, he
explained his reasons for not writing me back but let me know that received
three of my letters and they meant a lot to him. I was so emotionally messed up
that I just couldn't stop crying, I missed him so much and I was so happy to
see him. I chose not to tell him about me being raped at the time because, I still wasn't comfortable speaking about it and I didn't know what he would think of me. Before I knew it; it was 12 o clock p.m. I knew I was going to be in
so much trouble.
I told him that I had to get home and he offered to walk me
home, while we were walking he let me know that he would have to go back to
court and possibly do more time for the things he did, about three years to be
exact. Hearing him say that broke my heart, I just really wanted to be with him
and live my life. I was nervous the entire time with him but that was nothing
new, he always made my knees weak and my stomach twirl. When we got on the
street right by my house my sister pulled up beside us with her boyfriend and
my mom in the car, I told Jerome to just keep walking and I got in the car.
I was quiet the whole ride home as my mom lectured me about
speaking to a now twenty-two-year-old man. When we got home she told me if
Jerome was still interested in me when I turned 17 then I can hang out
with him in the day time but there would be no night visits. I agreed with her,
took a shower and went to bed. About 3a.m I was awaken by a tap on my window, I
looked out and it was Jerome. He wanted to make sure I was ok, I told him what
my mom said and he just listened and didn't argue about it. I told him to get
some sleep, he kissed me and said goodnight and told me how much he loved me and it was going to be some time before I saw him again.
"TRYING TO MOVE FORWARD"
CHAPTER TEN (10)
At the age of sixteen I was going to New Smyrna Beach High School and I was pretty much an outcast. I had some friends at school because they knew me from the neighborhood but that was pretty much it. Again it felt like girls were always trying to start drama with me or spread rumors about me and I was always getting in to arguments or fights about the most childish things, it was ridiculous. Being at a school where it feels like everyone is against you is hard enough but I dealt with it as well as at home. I got into one too many fights at NSB High so my mom decided to change my school's, so I started going to Atlantic High.
I didn't want to switch schools I just wanted to be home schooled and that wasn't an option. The morning of my first day at Atlantic High School my sister and mom took me. I was nervous and my attitude was at an all time high. There was a girl named pookie at Atlantic that I knew from New Smyrna and she was always pretty cool. Seeing her actually helped because she was very down to earth and funny there was never really any drama around her. My third class of the day was math which was by far my favorite subject so I was excited. When I entered the class Mr. Smith introduced himself as well as myself to the class. I sat next to a heavy set girl named Teresa, she seemed nice at first but as class went on I could tell we wouldn't get along. I'm more of a quiet, chill person until you do something to piss me off. But, other than that I just chill and have some laughs. She was loud at all times and starting drama with almost everybody. The type of person to think there better than everyone because she slept with multiple men and had fake hair and nails. So to her I was plain or as people say today "basic". I had an ok day altogether though and when I went home, I got in the tub with a knife next to me like I've been doing for the past couple months and contemplated suicide.
Being in high school, I would always think it would be fun and I would have just the best friends but, absolutely not. It was horrible for me, the constant mocking and teasing drove me crazy and I developed such a horrible attitude. I started getting into fights at Atlantic High as well, I was determined to not let anyone else walk all over me. As the days went on I met this guy at school named Lamaj, he was funny, cute and sweet but he was also pretty rugged. When I saw him I got a little light headed and when he spoke to me I couldn't stop smiling. All that came to end when I realized he was dating Teresa, I was actually kind of disgusted, not by her looks just her attitude they seemed like a weird couple to me but I just let it ride. I was still interested in him but I wouldn't pursue it knowing he was in a relationship. I became cool with a couple of girls that seemed pretty fun, I met them in P.E. Jasmine had an amazing voice and was also in my Latin course, Nina was quiet but funny when you least expected it. One morning at school everyone was preparing to go to first period and someone yelled out FIGHT!!!!. I didn't get to see the fight or anything but I heard that it was Teresa and Lamaj. After class I learned that they were actually in a physical fight and not just an argument. I was kind of confused as to why would they even be fighting to begin with. Rumors were going around saying that she attacked Lamaj and he was trying to get her off him, I still don't know what really happened.
When Lamaj returned to school, I spoke with him and he told me what happened. That whole situation was crazy, he told me that they were no longer together and I got a little happy. About a month later I started speaking with him more and we eventually exchanged numbers. Being with him was so great, he became such a good friend to me and he still is. One night while we were on the phone he called me baby and I got so happy (lol) it was the funniest thing ever I couldn't stop laughing. We decided to start dating and to be honest I actually thought he was playing some kind of trick on me that's how insecure I was. I was so used to being teased that every time someone called me pretty or said they liked me I assumed they were playing. When I got to school the next day, I got off the school bus and saw him sitting on a bench in the distance with his friends. He texted me and told me to come over there but I was so scared I just walked right pass him. Crazy right. As the day went on, I was walking a little late to my fourth period class and he just so happened to be walking in the same direction so we walked and talked. His class was before mines, when we got to the door he asked if I was going to give him a hug, I said no started laughing and he grabbed me and gave me the tightest greatest hug I have ever gotten. For that moment it felt like the world stopped and it was just us. That was interrupted by someone yelling my name, I couldn't see the person but it sounded like Teresa, I guess she was upset.
When she saw me after class she asked "You fucking Lamaj now" although I wasn't I told her it was none of her business and walked away. As I was walking away she started to yell and call me a hoe and say that she was going to "beat my ass" but I just laughed it off. I was honestly in such a giddy mode after getting a hug from him that nothing could bring me down. That weekend I went to his house to spend the night. It wasn't something I was used to, it was only him and his brother living there and I was kind of expecting to meet his mom. Overtime that became my home away from home, no matter what time or day it was, if I wanted to get away from my family problems he was there for me with open arms. My third night there we had unprotected sex without even thinking about it and I was falling deeply in love with him. Spending time with Lamaj was the highlight of my day, I felt safe with him and I was very happy. I didn't see his brother very much because he was always gone, either working or in school. The apartment complex they lived in had a gym, pool, and a dock with a pond, it was very peaceful. I spent the weekend with constantly and it honestly became a home away from home for me. After a few months of dating Lamaj I found out that I was pregnant and at first I was extremely happy but nervous. When I told Lamaj the first thing he said was that if I keep the baby he will ask for a DNA test because he already had a son and he didn't want anymore kids. Yes, Lamaj had a son but he wasn't in Florida I just assumed he was with his mom. It took me by surprise when he said "DNA Test" because he was the only guy I was sleeping with or around at the time. I understood the fact that he didn't want any more kids but the way he came at me was extremely disrespectful. When I told my mom about it she was upset and her and one of my sisters starting talking to me about abortion. I never imagined I would be going through something like this but it was happening. I agreed to the abortion and when I told Lamaj he agreed with it, he also agreed to pay for it but that never happened. I was under my dads insurance at the time so that covered the cost. A few weeks later after I recovered from the procedure, my body was still kind of week but I felt much better. I didn't speak to Lamaj for a few days but when I did, I decided not to talk about anything pertaining to the situation. I was back at school now and things were starting to get a bit tense between me and Teresa. She was either spreading rumors about me or telling me that "she would beat my ass" every time she saw me. I actually started to get really annoyed by it, usually I just ignore other girls when they talk about me. With her I couldn't do that at all, no matter how hard I tried. This is someone who wouldn't leave you alone no matter what, she even showed up to Lamaj house unannounced with food. She had this crazy obsession with him and what I was doing with him.
This girl went as far as setting an appointment/mediation with our principle to basically tell him that she thought her and I were friends and that I'm with Lamaj. I told him the same thing I told her, what I do with or to Lamaj is nobody's business but mine. A couple weeks later, I was walking to class with Lamaj, we stopped in front of his class and started playing around, I was trying to bite his face or something silly. out of nowhere Teresa walks up and says "Lamaj stop touching this hoe'. As she was yelling at him she grabbed my arm and pulled me off of him. At this point all I saw was red, I pushed her off of me, threw my books down and was ready to fight. I got in her face yelling about how pathetic and lame she was, as she was yelling at me. I pushed her again and when I was walking up to her again, she ran in the classroom and locked the door. I was so angry, I couldn't believe I let her bring me down to that level. The ROTC teacher and two campus administrators came to calm me down and walked me to the principles office. I was being suspended for three days. When I got back to school I was like a completely different person. Its like I had so much anger built up from everything that has happened to me that anytime someone even looked at me funny, I was ready to fight.
"BACK TO JEROME"
CHAPTER ELEVEN (11)
A year later at seventeen years old, I was out of school and hanging out with Tiliah again. I continued to keep my feelings to myself when it came to certain things. Since moving to Florida there have been so many changes in my life, changes that I wasn't strong enough to deal with but I had to go through it anyway. Although Tiliah and I were cool she wasn't my only friend at the time. I started hanging out with this girl everyone called "Cee Cee", she was pretty cool and funny to be around. The only thing that was kind of irritating with her is that she liked drama, so she would sometimes instigate a small situation with almost anyone in to a fight. Walking back to my house one night with Cee Cee, she saw her uncle speaking with someone that looked extremely familiar but I didn't pay it any mind. As we were leaving the house again I heard her cousin yell " Aye Peaches someone over here wants to say hi to you". I said hey and waved to whoever the guy was and went to the park with Cee Cee. We sat out there with a few other friends and that was my first time smoking with anyone other than Tiliah or Lamaj. As it started getting late I felt myself getting tired and decided to walk home. Approaching my moms house I could see someone sitting on the porch, I got closer and realized the "stranger" that was trying to speak with me was Jerome.
"Oh My Gosh! Jerome" I yelled as I ran towards him for a hug, "I cant believe your here, I missed you so much". He gave me the biggest hug and said he was home for good and that he had no intentions on leaving again. I was going to be 18 in November and he was 24 years old, but we were both in love, Jerome got a job doing lawn care and I started classes online for business administration. He was still living with his parents and my mom was finally ok with the idea off us being together. Everything was going great between me and Jerome it felt like we were in sync. We both loved to play around and laugh, every time I was with him I felt safe. People talked about us being together as if it was such a bad thing. I was 18 years old but I guess the fact of him being with me since the age of 14 caught everyone off guard. Jerome eventually moved in with me and my mom and things continued to go well, he decided to start going to college and that's when everything went left. One day he called me on his lunch break, I was cleaning and playing music in the background and when I said hello he sounded a bit irritated. He asked what I was doing, I told him that I was cleaning and he told me I was lying and hung up the phone. It caught me by surprise because he had never acted that way with me before, about 20 minutes later I herd a loud banging on the door it was Jerome. I asked him what was wrong and he started yelling and walking around the house franticly asking me if someone is here. I told him no and he needed to calm down, he looked at me and said "If you ever try to play me , you will regret it".
Although I was with Jerome I still kept some contact with Lamaj, he was a good friend and great listener. He always told me the truth and not just what he thought I wanted to hear, I spoke to Lamaj about my problems with Jerome and basically the fact that he began acting strange towards me. He was becoming more and more aggressive as time went by, we argued almost everyday about simple situations that could've been resolved easily by just talking. Talking to Lamaj felt great but it also started to stir up old feelings so I decided to cut myself off from him and focus on my relationship with Jerome. Sleeping with Jerome was no longer the same, it felt like I was just doing it to please him but the lord knows I didn't want to nor did I enjoy it anymore. I tried so hard to get us back to the way we used to be but it wasn't easy. One night I woke up and realized Jerome wasn't laying next to me, I got up and walked out the bedroom he was sitting at the computer masturbating while watching some girls dance on YouTube. I immediately got upset, this is my moms house and this is what your doing in the living room I yelled. He tried to hurry and exit the site but I had already saw it, I shook my head called him an asshole and went to bed. The next day I decided to walk to the youth center with some friends and just clear my head. While we were in the gym listening to music and playing around this girl named Stacy called me out in the hall near the bathrooms. There was a wall of registered sex offenders and Jerome's dad was on it. I was in complete shock, I didn't know what to think this man was around my niece and Jerome didn't think to at least mention it to me. I texted him and asked him about it and his response was "it was from a long time ago so I didn't think it was any of your business".
On my 18th birthday, Jerome took me shopping and let me get whatever I wanted and then we went out for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. I had such an amazing time until we got back home, Jerome was in the bathroom and his phone kept going off. I picked it up and I saw text messages from a girl asking him to send her some pictures and that she would do the same. Then I saw another text from the same number saying "I love hearing your voice, I cant wait to see you". The fact that I had a very short temper left no room for a calm discussion, I was so fed up with him but I still loved him so much. He told me that it was just someone he started talking with when we were on bad terms and that it wont happen again, I believed him. In March of 2012, I found out that I was pregnant and all I could do was cry. I couldn't believe I was pregnant by this man who I didn't believe was whole hearted with me. When I told him I was pregnant he seemed happy and starting asking me about how I felt. I was honest with him, I told him I was scared and worried about our relationship. I didn't think we were ready for a child at all but I didn't want to have an abortion either. My mind was made up and I was going to have a baby with Jerome.
Everything was going great up until one day in May I found out that Jerome was cheating on me with a transgender and I was sick to my stomach. I started crying and throwing up uncontrollably, I was so disgusted with him. Did this mean he was now gay? How many men have he slept with? Did he use protection? How could he do this to me? Why would he do this to me? those were all the questions going through my mind. The guy (transgender) he was involved with sent me pictures, text messages and videos of them both to my email. I was in complete shock, I didn't want to believe it but I knew it was true; it was him. I called his phone but hung up, because I was too scared to mention it to him. I texted his phone and I got no response at all, I didn't hear from Jerome again until the ending of July. He left all his belongings at my place and just ignored me, he didn't care about my feelings or his unborn child. When I finally heard from him, he started apologizing and asked if we could work it out. I told him absolutely not, there was no way in hell I would ever get back with him and that he needed to come get his things. I packed his things up and placed them on the front porch, he didn't come and get them until August 3rd. I wasn't expecting him so when I heard a knock at the door I assumed it was Taliah and said come in. When I came out the bedroom he was standing at the end of the hall and I got upset and told him to get out. He started walking towards me saying that he was sorry and he made a mistake, he asked me to forgive him and work through it and I said no. We started arguing about everything that's been going on, I was yelling at him for just leaving me like that for months without a word. He yelled at me, calling me a whore and started saying that the baby probably wasn't his, the next thing he said left me shocked and outraged. He said " I hope you and that fucking baby dies bitch" the house grew silent after he said that, I started crying and told him to get the fuck out, but he wouldn't leave. I saw that he was looking for a fight and I knew it wouldn't end well.......
THANK YOU FOR READING, STAY TUNED FOR MORE....
COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS/REACTION.....(BASED ON TRUE EVENTS, NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR PRIVACY REASONS)
"TRYING TO MOVE FORWARD"
CHAPTER TEN (10)
At the age of sixteen I was going to New Smyrna Beach High School and I was pretty much an outcast. I had some friends at school because they knew me from the neighborhood but that was pretty much it. Again it felt like girls were always trying to start drama with me or spread rumors about me and I was always getting in to arguments or fights about the most childish things, it was ridiculous. Being at a school where it feels like everyone is against you is hard enough but I dealt with it as well as at home. I got into one too many fights at NSB High so my mom decided to change my school's, so I started going to Atlantic High.
I didn't want to switch schools I just wanted to be home schooled and that wasn't an option. The morning of my first day at Atlantic High School my sister and mom took me. I was nervous and my attitude was at an all time high. There was a girl named pookie at Atlantic that I knew from New Smyrna and she was always pretty cool. Seeing her actually helped because she was very down to earth and funny there was never really any drama around her. My third class of the day was math which was by far my favorite subject so I was excited. When I entered the class Mr. Smith introduced himself as well as myself to the class. I sat next to a heavy set girl named Teresa, she seemed nice at first but as class went on I could tell we wouldn't get along. I'm more of a quiet, chill person until you do something to piss me off. But, other than that I just chill and have some laughs. She was loud at all times and starting drama with almost everybody. The type of person to think there better than everyone because she slept with multiple men and had fake hair and nails. So to her I was plain or as people say today "basic". I had an ok day altogether though and when I went home, I got in the tub with a knife next to me like I've been doing for the past couple months and contemplated suicide.
Being in high school, I would always think it would be fun and I would have just the best friends but, absolutely not. It was horrible for me, the constant mocking and teasing drove me crazy and I developed such a horrible attitude. I started getting into fights at Atlantic High as well, I was determined to not let anyone else walk all over me. As the days went on I met this guy at school named Lamaj, he was funny, cute and sweet but he was also pretty rugged. When I saw him I got a little light headed and when he spoke to me I couldn't stop smiling. All that came to end when I realized he was dating Teresa, I was actually kind of disgusted, not by her looks just her attitude they seemed like a weird couple to me but I just let it ride. I was still interested in him but I wouldn't pursue it knowing he was in a relationship. I became cool with a couple of girls that seemed pretty fun, I met them in P.E. Jasmine had an amazing voice and was also in my Latin course, Nina was quiet but funny when you least expected it. One morning at school everyone was preparing to go to first period and someone yelled out FIGHT!!!!. I didn't get to see the fight or anything but I heard that it was Teresa and Lamaj. After class I learned that they were actually in a physical fight and not just an argument. I was kind of confused as to why would they even be fighting to begin with. Rumors were going around saying that she attacked Lamaj and he was trying to get her off him, I still don't know what really happened.
When Lamaj returned to school, I spoke with him and he told me what happened. That whole situation was crazy, he told me that they were no longer together and I got a little happy. About a month later I started speaking with him more and we eventually exchanged numbers. Being with him was so great, he became such a good friend to me and he still is. One night while we were on the phone he called me baby and I got so happy (lol) it was the funniest thing ever I couldn't stop laughing. We decided to start dating and to be honest I actually thought he was playing some kind of trick on me that's how insecure I was. I was so used to being teased that every time someone called me pretty or said they liked me I assumed they were playing. When I got to school the next day, I got off the school bus and saw him sitting on a bench in the distance with his friends. He texted me and told me to come over there but I was so scared I just walked right pass him. Crazy right. As the day went on, I was walking a little late to my fourth period class and he just so happened to be walking in the same direction so we walked and talked. His class was before mines, when we got to the door he asked if I was going to give him a hug, I said no started laughing and he grabbed me and gave me the tightest greatest hug I have ever gotten. For that moment it felt like the world stopped and it was just us. That was interrupted by someone yelling my name, I couldn't see the person but it sounded like Teresa, I guess she was upset.
When she saw me after class she asked "You fucking Lamaj now" although I wasn't I told her it was none of her business and walked away. As I was walking away she started to yell and call me a hoe and say that she was going to "beat my ass" but I just laughed it off. I was honestly in such a giddy mode after getting a hug from him that nothing could bring me down. That weekend I went to his house to spend the night. It wasn't something I was used to, it was only him and his brother living there and I was kind of expecting to meet his mom. Overtime that became my home away from home, no matter what time or day it was, if I wanted to get away from my family problems he was there for me with open arms. My third night there we had unprotected sex without even thinking about it and I was falling deeply in love with him. Spending time with Lamaj was the highlight of my day, I felt safe with him and I was very happy. I didn't see his brother very much because he was always gone, either working or in school. The apartment complex they lived in had a gym, pool, and a dock with a pond, it was very peaceful. I spent the weekend with constantly and it honestly became a home away from home for me. After a few months of dating Lamaj I found out that I was pregnant and at first I was extremely happy but nervous. When I told Lamaj the first thing he said was that if I keep the baby he will ask for a DNA test because he already had a son and he didn't want anymore kids. Yes, Lamaj had a son but he wasn't in Florida I just assumed he was with his mom. It took me by surprise when he said "DNA Test" because he was the only guy I was sleeping with or around at the time. I understood the fact that he didn't want any more kids but the way he came at me was extremely disrespectful. When I told my mom about it she was upset and her and one of my sisters starting talking to me about abortion. I never imagined I would be going through something like this but it was happening. I agreed to the abortion and when I told Lamaj he agreed with it, he also agreed to pay for it but that never happened. I was under my dads insurance at the time so that covered the cost. A few weeks later after I recovered from the procedure, my body was still kind of week but I felt much better. I didn't speak to Lamaj for a few days but when I did, I decided not to talk about anything pertaining to the situation. I was back at school now and things were starting to get a bit tense between me and Teresa. She was either spreading rumors about me or telling me that "she would beat my ass" every time she saw me. I actually started to get really annoyed by it, usually I just ignore other girls when they talk about me. With her I couldn't do that at all, no matter how hard I tried. This is someone who wouldn't leave you alone no matter what, she even showed up to Lamaj house unannounced with food. She had this crazy obsession with him and what I was doing with him.
This girl went as far as setting an appointment/mediation with our principle to basically tell him that she thought her and I were friends and that I'm with Lamaj. I told him the same thing I told her, what I do with or to Lamaj is nobody's business but mine. A couple weeks later, I was walking to class with Lamaj, we stopped in front of his class and started playing around, I was trying to bite his face or something silly. out of nowhere Teresa walks up and says "Lamaj stop touching this hoe'. As she was yelling at him she grabbed my arm and pulled me off of him. At this point all I saw was red, I pushed her off of me, threw my books down and was ready to fight. I got in her face yelling about how pathetic and lame she was, as she was yelling at me. I pushed her again and when I was walking up to her again, she ran in the classroom and locked the door. I was so angry, I couldn't believe I let her bring me down to that level. The ROTC teacher and two campus administrators came to calm me down and walked me to the principles office. I was being suspended for three days. When I got back to school I was like a completely different person. Its like I had so much anger built up from everything that has happened to me that anytime someone even looked at me funny, I was ready to fight.
"BACK TO JEROME"
CHAPTER ELEVEN (11)
A year later at seventeen years old, I was out of school and hanging out with Tiliah again. I continued to keep my feelings to myself when it came to certain things. Since moving to Florida there have been so many changes in my life, changes that I wasn't strong enough to deal with but I had to go through it anyway. Although Tiliah and I were cool she wasn't my only friend at the time. I started hanging out with this girl everyone called "Cee Cee", she was pretty cool and funny to be around. The only thing that was kind of irritating with her is that she liked drama, so she would sometimes instigate a small situation with almost anyone in to a fight. Walking back to my house one night with Cee Cee, she saw her uncle speaking with someone that looked extremely familiar but I didn't pay it any mind. As we were leaving the house again I heard her cousin yell " Aye Peaches someone over here wants to say hi to you". I said hey and waved to whoever the guy was and went to the park with Cee Cee. We sat out there with a few other friends and that was my first time smoking with anyone other than Tiliah or Lamaj. As it started getting late I felt myself getting tired and decided to walk home. Approaching my moms house I could see someone sitting on the porch, I got closer and realized the "stranger" that was trying to speak with me was Jerome.
"Oh My Gosh! Jerome" I yelled as I ran towards him for a hug, "I cant believe your here, I missed you so much". He gave me the biggest hug and said he was home for good and that he had no intentions on leaving again. I was going to be 18 in November and he was 24 years old, but we were both in love, Jerome got a job doing lawn care and I started classes online for business administration. He was still living with his parents and my mom was finally ok with the idea off us being together. Everything was going great between me and Jerome it felt like we were in sync. We both loved to play around and laugh, every time I was with him I felt safe. People talked about us being together as if it was such a bad thing. I was 18 years old but I guess the fact of him being with me since the age of 14 caught everyone off guard. Jerome eventually moved in with me and my mom and things continued to go well, he decided to start going to college and that's when everything went left. One day he called me on his lunch break, I was cleaning and playing music in the background and when I said hello he sounded a bit irritated. He asked what I was doing, I told him that I was cleaning and he told me I was lying and hung up the phone. It caught me by surprise because he had never acted that way with me before, about 20 minutes later I herd a loud banging on the door it was Jerome. I asked him what was wrong and he started yelling and walking around the house franticly asking me if someone is here. I told him no and he needed to calm down, he looked at me and said "If you ever try to play me , you will regret it".
Although I was with Jerome I still kept some contact with Lamaj, he was a good friend and great listener. He always told me the truth and not just what he thought I wanted to hear, I spoke to Lamaj about my problems with Jerome and basically the fact that he began acting strange towards me. He was becoming more and more aggressive as time went by, we argued almost everyday about simple situations that could've been resolved easily by just talking. Talking to Lamaj felt great but it also started to stir up old feelings so I decided to cut myself off from him and focus on my relationship with Jerome. Sleeping with Jerome was no longer the same, it felt like I was just doing it to please him but the lord knows I didn't want to nor did I enjoy it anymore. I tried so hard to get us back to the way we used to be but it wasn't easy. One night I woke up and realized Jerome wasn't laying next to me, I got up and walked out the bedroom he was sitting at the computer masturbating while watching some girls dance on YouTube. I immediately got upset, this is my moms house and this is what your doing in the living room I yelled. He tried to hurry and exit the site but I had already saw it, I shook my head called him an asshole and went to bed. The next day I decided to walk to the youth center with some friends and just clear my head. While we were in the gym listening to music and playing around this girl named Stacy called me out in the hall near the bathrooms. There was a wall of registered sex offenders and Jerome's dad was on it. I was in complete shock, I didn't know what to think this man was around my niece and Jerome didn't think to at least mention it to me. I texted him and asked him about it and his response was "it was from a long time ago so I didn't think it was any of your business".
On my 18th birthday, Jerome took me shopping and let me get whatever I wanted and then we went out for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. I had such an amazing time until we got back home, Jerome was in the bathroom and his phone kept going off. I picked it up and I saw text messages from a girl asking him to send her some pictures and that she would do the same. Then I saw another text from the same number saying "I love hearing your voice, I cant wait to see you". The fact that I had a very short temper left no room for a calm discussion, I was so fed up with him but I still loved him so much. He told me that it was just someone he started talking with when we were on bad terms and that it wont happen again, I believed him. In March of 2012, I found out that I was pregnant and all I could do was cry. I couldn't believe I was pregnant by this man who I didn't believe was whole hearted with me. When I told him I was pregnant he seemed happy and starting asking me about how I felt. I was honest with him, I told him I was scared and worried about our relationship. I didn't think we were ready for a child at all but I didn't want to have an abortion either. My mind was made up and I was going to have a baby with Jerome.
Everything was going great up until one day in May I found out that Jerome was cheating on me with a transgender and I was sick to my stomach. I started crying and throwing up uncontrollably, I was so disgusted with him. Did this mean he was now gay? How many men have he slept with? Did he use protection? How could he do this to me? Why would he do this to me? those were all the questions going through my mind. The guy (transgender) he was involved with sent me pictures, text messages and videos of them both to my email. I was in complete shock, I didn't want to believe it but I knew it was true; it was him. I called his phone but hung up, because I was too scared to mention it to him. I texted his phone and I got no response at all, I didn't hear from Jerome again until the ending of July. He left all his belongings at my place and just ignored me, he didn't care about my feelings or his unborn child. When I finally heard from him, he started apologizing and asked if we could work it out. I told him absolutely not, there was no way in hell I would ever get back with him and that he needed to come get his things. I packed his things up and placed them on the front porch, he didn't come and get them until August 3rd. I wasn't expecting him so when I heard a knock at the door I assumed it was Taliah and said come in. When I came out the bedroom he was standing at the end of the hall and I got upset and told him to get out. He started walking towards me saying that he was sorry and he made a mistake, he asked me to forgive him and work through it and I said no. We started arguing about everything that's been going on, I was yelling at him for just leaving me like that for months without a word. He yelled at me, calling me a whore and started saying that the baby probably wasn't his, the next thing he said left me shocked and outraged. He said " I hope you and that fucking baby dies bitch" the house grew silent after he said that, I started crying and told him to get the fuck out, but he wouldn't leave. I saw that he was looking for a fight and I knew it wouldn't end well.......
THANK YOU FOR READING, STAY TUNED FOR MORE....
COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS/REACTION.....(BASED ON TRUE EVENTS, NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR PRIVACY REASONS)
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